Three years ago today...

Three years ago today, my life changed.

Heavily (and I mean HEAVILY) pregnant with baby T, three years ago today I went into labour. After a difficult pregnancy (where I was in pain most of the time) and a few false starts, it was an odd realisation that the little twinges I felt every seven then five minutes a part might be the start of the magic moment when I could finally meet my little child.

We didn't officially know if we were going to have a baby boy or baby girl. In my heart, I knew T was going to be a boy. About a year and a half before he was born, I had a vision... right before falling asleep...of my man and I cuddling. In this vision, he put his hand on my belly and felt the baby move around, and we knew he was going to be a boy. This was a few months after my man and I started dating, so this vision was premature - to say the least. And, throughout my pregnancy, the little guy knew he was a boy. He'd kick like mad in hardware stores and stay very still in 'girl stores' like Sephora.

March 11, 2008 was a bit odd. My man and I went to apply for my EI, then decided to stop by my brother's house to visit him and my niece. I remember experiencing a few twinges and thinking 'Nah, this can't be it. I'd have to be in more pain." Of course, this is after visiting the hospital a few times with false labour.

It was almost surreal, and I was in total denial. My brother and my man both suggested we go to the hospital. I laughed, saying that I we'd be sent right back home. But, the baby was due on March 9th... so..

During the long drive(well, at least it felt like a long drive) to the hospital, I started to call folks and leave messages on people's voicemail - indicating we were on our way, but that we'd likely be calling to follow-up to say we were back home again.

When we went to the maternity ward, the nurse took one look at me and said, "You're not in labour. You're not in enough pain." At that moment, I KNEW I was in labour (I had to prove her wrong), and sure enough, I was about six or seven centimetres dilated (much to her apologetic shock). So, I checked in and they wheeled me into the delivery room.

I had hoped my Mom and my man would be my birth coaches, but unfortunately, it didn't work out that way. My Mom was very sick with the flu and couldn't make it. So, my man and I decided that his sister would be my co-coach.

My birth plan was pretty simple. I wanted a natural birth, but I would be okay with anything as long as it resulted in a healthy baby. At first, it was okay. Then I started to enjoy laughing gas to take the sting off.

But, then the baby was in distress. There was meconium in my amniotic fluid and his pulse rate started to be higher than acceptable. The doctor's decided to have an emergency C-section. In my pain-filled haze, I signed an okay to get the procedure done.

I was wheeled into the operating room, and my man was there with me along (so much for him taking breaks). He held my hand and watched as our baby boy was born. I didn't know what was going on; all I knew was that someone was feeling around my belly. Then, at 2:15 am on March 12, 2008, I heard the most magical sound ever. My baby was crying. I asked if it was a boy or a girl. He was a boy, and he was healthy. Both my man and I cried. Then after the doctors and nurses worked their magic, my man let me hold our baby for the first time.

He was beautiful in a wrinkly old man kind of way. We started to ask him what he wanted to be called. He had a slight smile at T and winced at the other names we suggested, so baby T was named.

In my exhausted haze, I fell in love with him. And, I continue to fall in love with him a little more everyday. He is the best gift I've ever received, and I'm so thankful to be his Mom.