Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Groan...

I know so many people going through such angst, heartache, strife and stress right now, that I sure don't feel sorry for those with a litany of First World complaints. Please cram some Perspective Pie down yon gullets.

No... I didn't write this. This was my sister-in-law's Facebook update this evening. 

Okay... she's notorious for writing somewhat inappropriate Facebook status updates.  Many bug me.  This is just the most recent.

Reading this makes me angry.  How can someone blatantly disregard and invalidate other people's feelings and issues without understanding context?

Yes. People complain.  Obviously, she's no exception.  Neither am I.  But, just because you're not going through something like an earthquake or nuclear meltdown, it doesn't mean a person's feelings are any less important than any others. 

Yes.  Perspective is important. Recognising that some of the things we moan about as a society may not be matters of life and death is part of this perspective.  However, we can't completely ignore our cultural understanding.  Things that may seem small on a global 'worry list' still may be very important within our cultural context.

Everyone has a different experience and is in a different space in their development and understanding of how the world works. You can't invalidate their feelings just because they don't conform to your own.

I have NO idea why she wrote this update... And, I'm not going to ask.  I'll just grit my teeth, and hope her words don't reflect what society in general thinks.  I'd like to think that people are more understanding of others and not so quick to judge.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Making lemonade

Sick leave sucks.

I'm not a fan of sitting still, so being on sick leave kinda truly sucks.

For the most part, the little guy is at the dayhome next door to my Mom's. But, I feel guilty for not spending more quality time with him. So, I decided earlier this week that after my appointment today, I would take him 'swimming'. I went by my brother's house to pick up our swimming things (I really should be more organized), and on the drive back to pick up the munchkin, I noticed most of the lights along the main streets were out (including traffic lights). Of course, swimming pool A is along that route. I suspected the electricity in that neighbourhood was out or limited, so I thought we'd go to swimming destination B.

As T and I were driving to destination B, I noticed the traffic to the off-ramp was backed up considerably... I decided to keep driving and see how bad it really was... REALLY BAD... backed up for several kms.

So, I groaned. T was really excited about going swimming, and I didn't want to let him down.

I quickly called the local number to confirm that swimming pool A was closed... and I was right.

Hmm... What to do? What to do? I didn't want to spoil his special afternoon by not doing something special (esp. because I pulled him out of the dayhome where he was having fun dancing around). We then drove to the movie theatre near our home. Poo... The first movie wasn't set to start until early evening.

Okay... I started muttering about lemons... Then I remembered a rec centre near my father-in-laws. So, I drove over there. Fingers crossed.

We arrived. It was open and had multiple areas where we could practice our 'swimming.' What a relief! So, the little guy and I enjoyed our newly discovered recipe for lemonade...in the form of a local rec centre.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Officially off sick

Battling this virus and trying to minimise work-related stress has contributed to my neurological issues, so now I'm on sick leave until I feel better. I hope this fog lifts quickly. It's hard to feel sick and be a Mom of an active and energetic three year old. I can't meet his needs as much as I feel I should. But, I know I have to get better - if not for my own sake, for his.

Not sure how long I'll be off - at least until the end of the month, when I see my own doctor and complete insurance forms. When you're accustomed to working almost all of the time, sick leave isn't a welcome respite. It's a time wrought with guilt for not being able to get things done - either at the office or at home. All I want to do is get better, so things can go back to normal... My normal at least.

My fingers are crossed for a speedy recovery.

Friday, March 11, 2011

A few observations

Here are a few thoughts from today.

This week, I was off sick, still trying to fight the virus that T and I had in mid-February (still not better). I stayed at my Mom's for more than a week. Only a couple coworkers said I hope you feel better soon. Now how's that for the warm fuzzies? (To be fair, I'm not sure how many people knew I was away sick, and I get embarassed about being sick... so maybe this is an irrelevant point).

However...the Second Cup lady noticed that T and I hadn't been by for our hot chocolate for an entire week. Sigh.

But... Being sick means you lose weight without even trying. I'm down more than 10 pounds!

Argh... It's possible to "read" a book without reading a page. I started to read a book yesterday - I'm even about a quarter way through - and I have no idea what I read or what the book is about.

Huh?... Why is it that your hair never looks as good as it does when you leave the salon?

Next... Now that we're back at my brother's, my son brought be a carton of eggs. I was starting to question my sanity, wondering if I bought too many eggs, then I decided to check the fridge. Imagine my surprise to discover he took one dozen eggs that were in the fridge egg holder and placed them in the carton. Then, he decided to put the carton back into the Farmer's Market cart. Pretty cute and somewhat funny.

And... Sometimes, a short message can put a smile on your face. I received a FB message from someone I usually don't hear from, and it made me happy.

Then...It's nice to be home. Even if it is my temporary home. It's great to be surrounded by our own stuff... at least some of our stuff.

And, finally... My heart hurts for those in Japan right now. The earthquakes and tsunamis today are horrifying.

Three years ago today...

Three years ago today, my life changed.

Heavily (and I mean HEAVILY) pregnant with baby T, three years ago today I went into labour. After a difficult pregnancy (where I was in pain most of the time) and a few false starts, it was an odd realisation that the little twinges I felt every seven then five minutes a part might be the start of the magic moment when I could finally meet my little child.

We didn't officially know if we were going to have a baby boy or baby girl. In my heart, I knew T was going to be a boy. About a year and a half before he was born, I had a vision... right before falling asleep...of my man and I cuddling. In this vision, he put his hand on my belly and felt the baby move around, and we knew he was going to be a boy. This was a few months after my man and I started dating, so this vision was premature - to say the least. And, throughout my pregnancy, the little guy knew he was a boy. He'd kick like mad in hardware stores and stay very still in 'girl stores' like Sephora.

March 11, 2008 was a bit odd. My man and I went to apply for my EI, then decided to stop by my brother's house to visit him and my niece. I remember experiencing a few twinges and thinking 'Nah, this can't be it. I'd have to be in more pain." Of course, this is after visiting the hospital a few times with false labour.

It was almost surreal, and I was in total denial. My brother and my man both suggested we go to the hospital. I laughed, saying that I we'd be sent right back home. But, the baby was due on March 9th... so..

During the long drive(well, at least it felt like a long drive) to the hospital, I started to call folks and leave messages on people's voicemail - indicating we were on our way, but that we'd likely be calling to follow-up to say we were back home again.

When we went to the maternity ward, the nurse took one look at me and said, "You're not in labour. You're not in enough pain." At that moment, I KNEW I was in labour (I had to prove her wrong), and sure enough, I was about six or seven centimetres dilated (much to her apologetic shock). So, I checked in and they wheeled me into the delivery room.

I had hoped my Mom and my man would be my birth coaches, but unfortunately, it didn't work out that way. My Mom was very sick with the flu and couldn't make it. So, my man and I decided that his sister would be my co-coach.

My birth plan was pretty simple. I wanted a natural birth, but I would be okay with anything as long as it resulted in a healthy baby. At first, it was okay. Then I started to enjoy laughing gas to take the sting off.

But, then the baby was in distress. There was meconium in my amniotic fluid and his pulse rate started to be higher than acceptable. The doctor's decided to have an emergency C-section. In my pain-filled haze, I signed an okay to get the procedure done.

I was wheeled into the operating room, and my man was there with me along (so much for him taking breaks). He held my hand and watched as our baby boy was born. I didn't know what was going on; all I knew was that someone was feeling around my belly. Then, at 2:15 am on March 12, 2008, I heard the most magical sound ever. My baby was crying. I asked if it was a boy or a girl. He was a boy, and he was healthy. Both my man and I cried. Then after the doctors and nurses worked their magic, my man let me hold our baby for the first time.

He was beautiful in a wrinkly old man kind of way. We started to ask him what he wanted to be called. He had a slight smile at T and winced at the other names we suggested, so baby T was named.

In my exhausted haze, I fell in love with him. And, I continue to fall in love with him a little more everyday. He is the best gift I've ever received, and I'm so thankful to be his Mom.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

News stories that caught my eye today

Back at work again, so I have greater exposure to news stories. Here are a few that caught my eye today. The first one still makes me weep when I watch it (lack of sleep = over emotional responses).

Man Proposes to Girlfriend in a TV Commercial

Galliano Fired from Christian Dior

Waiting to pee can help you make better decisions

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Took the boy on an excursion today

The car is in the shop.

The car will be there until at least the end of work day tomorrow.

I miss my car.

However, I have an odd logic about things. I don't believe that any kid should spend the entire day in the house, unless they are very sick. So, even when the little guy is under the weather, I'll still drag him out for a little while, just so he can get some fresh air.

So what happens when my primary means of transportation is gone???

The house that we're building is in a very child-friendly community. We have playgrounds, coffee shops and stores in walking distance, so we can walk anywhere we need to go without necessarily being on high-traffic roads until we need to be.

Where we're living now - in my brother's basement - the only way to walk anywhere is to start on a main/heavy traffic street.

So today, I took a deep breath and decided I couldn't let the lack of vehicle and very close proximity to fun places stop us from getting out of the house and having a little adventure - specifically going to the nearby swimming pool.

The swimming pool is walking distance from where we're at, but the thought of going there with an almost three year old on a high-traffic route was a bit daunting. The thought of going to the pool in -16° C weather and carrying the accessories required was scary.

Then, I realised from my very sheltered viewpoint that Mommies do this every day. They pack up their little ones and either walk or take the bus to destinations - regardless of temperature or what they have to carry.

We did it. We walked about a half hour in bitterly cold temperatures to the swimming pool, where we played for about an hour and a half. Then we gathered our things, went for hot chocolate and a muffin, and took the bus home.

For me, it was a great accomplishment. Yes you can laugh at that statement. This very routine that other mothers do EVERYDAY. The Moms who do this all the time and make it look easy are my heroes. I think you’re amazing.